Anger in the Workplace

Anger is a challenging emotion to deal with in any context, but it is especially challenging in the workplace. Why? Because there we tend to find the following:

1. Complex relationships

2. People under pressure

3. High stakes

4. Lack of control

As we explore these topics, be sure to try the brainstorming exercises that accompany them.

1. Complex Relationships
While human relationships are always complex, relationships in the workplace tend to be interdependent, competitive, hierarchical, public, and compulsory.

First, you rarely choose all the people in your organization, division, team, or workspace. Indeed, through selection processes, assignment decisions, and cubicle allocations, you're generally thrust into spending inordinate amounts of time with people who otherwise would be perfect strangers.

Second, you must do much more than coexist with your coworkers. You must depend upon them and they must depend upon you, routinely, even if they're the most significant competitors you face in your career.

Third, almost everyone you deal with at work is ranked in the organization chart; so you must grapple with explicit authority issues and implicit power dynamics.

2. People Under Pressure
Pressure in human relationships can come from many different sources, but most often it comes from a divergence in the best interests of the parties to the relationship. That divergence might be real or perceived; it might have to do with ends or means or both. The interests at stake might relate to expectations, needs, desires, or all of the above.

Even under the best of circumstances, it's difficult to keep the interests of two or more people in alignment for any extended period of time. Take a simple example: You and your spouse have a great relationship. You're driving down the highway together. She's late for an important business meeting, but you must use a lavatory ASAP. The divergence of your interests is likely to put more pressure on your relationship, at least temporarily.

Now think about this phenomenon in the workplace. Keeping the interests of you, your boss, your peers, your subordinates, your vendors, and your customers in alignment all the time is impossible. Meanwhile, you must also contend with competitors in your industry and their allies, whose interests are in direct opposition to yours.

Thus, for most people, work involves a constant juggling of, and wrestling with, competing interests. Whose interests are you going to attend to first? Whose interests might have to be sacrificed? Whose interests will be purposefully undermined? And how will you do this while protecting and advancing your own interests? That's where a lot of the pressure comes from.

3. High Stakes
The stakes at work are always high—for you and for every person with whom you must deal. Why is that? For most people, work is the key to earning a living. As one fierce salesperson said to a competitor, "I don't hate you, but you're trying to take food off my family's table. So I will crush you if I can." Enough said.

Some people are focused on achieving a degree of financial security for the long term—they want to be free of the anxiety of living from paycheck to paycheck. For others, it may not be the money in the bank account that makes them feel secure, but rather, knowing that through their skills and hard work they can always earn money when necessary.

In the rare cases when earning a living and achieving some level of security is not a working person's primary career agenda, the stakes may be even higher. Work may be your primary creative outlet or your only creative outlet. Maybe work is your main source of self-esteem, the thing in your life that makes you feel smart, accomplished, respected, and important. Work might feel like your sphere of control and influence—your "turf." It could even be that you have a deep emotional connection to your work—that your work is your passion.

Remember this: You have a lot at stake and so does everyone else. Whether the stakes are financial or psychological or both, they are always on the line in every interaction at work. These stakes are on the line every time you pursue a goal, face a crisis, or see an opportunity. Not only is there pressure from competing interests, but the competition at work really matters to everyone involved.

4. Lack of Control
In the workplace, your circumstances and the circumstances of others can shift suddenly due to a wide range of factors beyond your control. There are so many variables, including:

• Geopolitical conditions



• National and local politics



• Weather and natural disasters



• Global economic shifts



• Changes in your industry, ranging from new competitors to new inventions



• Changes in your organization, ranging from mergers to new leadership to a new person on your team

The list goes on and on.

No matter how well you plan ahead, the unexpected is always lurking. You just don't know what it might be, when it might happen, and how much it might affect you and your plans. Now add this capricious element to a high-stakes workplace environment where you are already managing complex relationships with a whole bunch of individuals, many of whom have conflicting interests. It's no wonder that so many people feel a great deal of diffuse anxiety about their working lives and careers.