Your EQ can continue to increase over your lifetime, and can even be improved in every arena of your life. In fact, life itself is the laboratory where we build greater EQ. You can work on your Emotional Intelligence when you are alone, or when you are with your employees, co-workers, family, friends, neighbors, or acquaintances. It will take 3–6 months to make any substantial improvement in Emotional Intelligence, but the payoff is worth it if you answer yes to any of these questions:

Do you want to be more in control at work or at home?

Would you like to be able to deal more effectively with personal stress?

Would you like to have a wider circle of influence?

Do you want to commit to and move ahead with your goals?

Would you like people around you to be more productive?

Do you long to take risks and overcome your fear of change?

Would you like to develop a more positive and hopeful attitude?

And, finally, do you want to live a more satisfying and successful life?

We can't really separate the rational from the emotional any more than we can separate our work from our personal lives. The quality of one is inextricably linked to the other: what we learn off the job translates into lessons on the job, and vice versa. The positive discipline and positive reinforcement you use with your child, for example, can be duplicated with your employees; relating better with your workers will bring positive rewards at home, as well.

Emotions need not be a problem in the workplace; the right ones augment productivity and workplace harmony, but it takes EQ to know how to manage them. Many people have the title of "manager" but are simply ineffective in their positions. Real leaders are those who actively inspire and motivate others, create teamwork, and achieve outstanding results; they model the behavior they want to see in their employees. Emotional Intelligence can move you from management to leadership, and make the people at the top sit up and take notice of your contributions to the company.

Jack walked into the office where three of his sales managers were reviewing the latest sales figures. So engrossed were they in discussing the disappointing results and what might be causing the sudden downturn in business, they did not hear him approach. Jack cleared his throat rather loudly, interrupting an obviously important and spirited discussion about work. "Kelly," he said firmly, "I need to see you about that Allied account. We need to get some information to corporate." He turned on his heels, leaving Kelly to wrinkle up her nose and explain to her colleagues that she would have to get back to them about continuing this analysis. She quickly followed Jack to his office.

Assuming that the information corporate needed did not represent a crisis, how would you assess Jack's handling of this situation? What effect did his approach have on Kelly and her colleagues?

Jack, like too many managers, used the "boss" technique to get what he wanted done. He demonstrated poor social skills and possibly did long-term damage to goodwill by first assuming that the obviously work-related discussion was not particularly important, and then by barging in on it. Kelly and her colleagues would have been much more interested in complying with Jack's request had he:

1. waited until there was a good stopping point in their conversation and they acknowledged his presence;

2. greeted them with a few pleasant words;

3. asked what they were discussing and appeared interested in hearing about it (after all, he needs to know about the sales figures, too);

4. explained what he needed and then asked for Kelly's input on when and how she could comply with his request for information from corporate;

5. exchanged pleasant conversation as he and Kelly walked to his office to work on the request.

This could indeed have been a crisis, but when the manager or the organization is always operating in crisis mode, there are usually management problems. It's probably safe to conclude that Jack's behavior in this situation is an example of low "Emotional Intelligence."