We often get in trouble because we make assumptions about someone else's emotions or intentions. Many times we think "the worst." However, we should challenge the thoughts that stimulate our negative thinking. Is there another explanation for the same set of circumstances? Instead of letting anger, hurt, or worry take over, we ought to redefine, or take a different view: I'm better off or Maybe she had a good reason or He probably didn't mean it like that.

You might need a partner to help you look at the situation a little differently. For example: Sadness over the loss of a job can be reframed by thinking of all the ways the job really did not suit you; the job was okay, but it was not perfect. And ask yourself, What did I learn from this job and from this experience of losing it? You can choose to dwell on the loss and stay depressed, or you can reframe and remember the positive things you derived from the experience.

Make a Mental Video of the situation as you would like it to unfold.
If we can imagine it, we can create it. That's what research tells us. We must first be able to clearly see the end we want to achieve. Close your eyes and really see yourself going through all the steps leading to that desired end, as if you were viewing a video of someone else. View it in as much detail as possible: Where are you? Who is there? What are each of you doing and saying? Replay your mental video over and over, and sharpen the images each time. More than a static visualization, this method of learning actually programs your neural circuitry step-by-step, so that when you begin the action steps, you have already created the "highway" for the neurons to travel. Star athletes regularly use this method to achieve great results, and you can do the same thing. In fact, the more clearly you can see your video, the more motivation it will offer you.

Even if your workplace is not at the crisis stage of anger, you should be aware of the systemic factors that can create widespread anger in organizations and teams. Of course, organizations that treat people in ways that are abusive, neglectful, unethical, or illegal will incur a great deal of much-deserved wrath. But there are many perfectly standard business practices that make individuals feel undervalued, and these too are likely to cause pervasive anger. They include:

Arbitrary policies

Restrictive rules

Rigid hierarchies

Authoritarian managers

One-way communication

Limited information sharing

Closed (or zero-sum) competition

Narrow territorial boundaries

Minimal individual autonomy

Few rewards for good performance

In contrast, people are far less likely to become angry at their employer when they have a reasonable degree of control over their work schedules, workspace, tasks, responsibilities, learning opportunities, relationships, and compensation. Indeed, the more control an individual has over these factors, the more likely he or she is to feel very positive about an organization or team.

People also tend to place great value on two-way communication: They want a chance to contribute their input on matters that affect them directly and indirectly. What is more, they want to receive recognition and rewards when they make valuable contributions.

While organization-wide practices can have a huge impact on anger in the workplace, the most powerful factor is the relationship between managers and their direct reports. When managers are highly informed, engaged, and responsive, they tend to have relationships of trust and confidence with their direct reports.

However, a well-run organization with good managers may still have pervasive problems with anger. Therefore, the following anger-management best practices must also be implemented:

Establish clear expectations for workplace behavior.

Require leaders and managers to model appropriate behavior.

Do not select or promote people who fail to manage their own anger.

Provide resources for anger management and confront dangerous anger early on.

1. Establish Clear Expectations for Workplace Behavior
Managers should make clear their expectations of how people will conduct themselves in the workplace. Angry expressions that demean others should be strictly forbidden. Some companies, including Polaroid, Nordstrom, General Electric, and Quaker Oats, list among their core values specific forms of interpersonal conduct among employees. For example, they explicitly state that intimidation and hostile or offensive behavior will not be condoned (see Pearson, Andersson, and Porath, 2000). When expectations are established and well known, the clear inappropriateness of behavior that violates these expectations sets the ground for corrective action.

2. Require Leaders and Managers to Model Appropriate Behavior
As discussed earlier, anger in hierarchies tends to move downward. When leaders demonstrate their anger by yelling and screaming, these behaviors are repeated down to the lowest levels, creating a reinforcing cycle of anger on the part of superiors and fear on the part of subordinates. Moreover, those who use their anger inappropriately tend to use their power to silence those who are below them and who might raise questions.

Since employees scrutinize their leaders' behavior for signals of appropriate and acceptable conduct, leaders who value respect among employees must also manage their own expressions of anger. They should be models of what is appropriate in terms of anger, avoiding aggression. The authority held by superiors confers the responsibility of supporting, coaching, and empowering others, not the right to dominate them. It also confers the responsibility of penalizing those who harm others through aggression.

3. Do Not Select or Promote People Who Fail to Manage Their Own Anger
Some people are actually known for their bad tempers—they leave a trail of casualties behind them wherever they work. Yet they get hired and promoted again and again. Why is that? Often organizations hire and promote people on the sole basis of financial or technical performance. Although such performance is certainly valuable, this value is outweighed by the damage inflicted on individuals, teams, and organizations when these people, especially those in positions of authority, express their anger aggressively and repeatedly.

Thus, when you select individuals for open positions or for promotions, it is critical to evaluate their skills and track record on interpersonal communication. Selection criteria and performance evaluations should give considerable weight to such skills and the ability to build work-group morale. Reward individuals who excel in these areas, and penalize those who indulge their tempers at the expense of the organization.

4. Provide Resources for Anger Management and Confront Dangerous Anger Early On
Everyone in the workplace feels anger sometimes and must deal with it. Provide self-study materials that help individuals learn how to manage their own anger.

In addition, provide managers with training in conflict resolution, negotiation, and coaching. They must be brave enough to intervene in extreme cases, and should know how to do the following:

Confront the problem employee

Offer help and support if appropriate

Remove the employee from the workplace and notify potential targets, company security, and law enforcement officials

In less extreme cases, when chronic anger is a problem for an otherwise valuable employee, managers should encourage or require the person to seek professional help. Too often, managers try to avoid angry employees because the anger makes them feel uncomfortable or afraid. They may even move the problem employee along to another part of the firm. Of course, these defensive reactions do not solve the problem, but leave it to fester.