Remember that everyone brings different skills and knowledge to the table and is capable of achieving the tasks and responsibilities required. Get things back on track and restore harmony by focusing people on their shared mission instead of on personality differences. Those who cannot focus on what is important—bringing the team's resources to bear on the mission and their particular roles and goals in relation to that mission—will not be able to continue as team members.

To set the focus, call a team meeting. Everybody must attend. You will need to accomplish three things:

Clear the air.

Clarify mission, roles, and goals.

Establish ground rules for conduct and for keeping communication lines open.

1. Clear the Air
Have each person take a turn speaking for three minutes. This process continues for three rounds:

Round 1— The speaker says one thing that he or she appreciates about each team member.

Round 2— The speaker says one thing that he or she thinks each member needs to improve.

Round 3— The speaker says one thing that he or she is committed to improving about his or her own performance or behavior.

2. Clarify Mission, Roles, and Goals
What work needs to be done by each team member? What projects, tasks, and responsibilities are involved? What deadlines and guidelines must be observed? Communicate the clear mission, goals, deadlines, and guidelines, indicating which guidelines are negotiable and which are not. Once you convey that information, see who will continue as a team member and who will not.

3. Establish Ground Rules for Conduct and for Keeping Communication Lines Open
Let people know that it's acceptable to express anger appropriately and effectively—at the right time and place to the right people in a productive, task-oriented manner. Share with people the approach to dealing with anger in yourself (see Chapter 6) and offer coaching to those who need it. Plan a follow-up meeting with the team to gauge improvements. Then get back to work.

If You are in a Position of organizational or team leadership, you should continually assess the workplace to identify its strengths and weaknesses. This should include the tracking of anger. We've discussed the high costs that an organization or a team can incur if anger is poorly managed. And we know that anger is unavoidable because the workplace involves complex relationships, high stakes, significant pressure, and many forces beyond our immediate control. While it can be difficult to manage anger in ourselves and others, dealing with anger in organizations and teams can pose our greatest challenge, especially if the anger is pervasive and derived from systemic causes.

To get an idea of the state of anger in your organization or team, complete the assessment on the next page. It will bring you a step closer to understanding what role anger is playing in your organization or team. If you find that anger is a significant problem, you must take steps to address it. If the problem rises to the level of a crisis, you may want to consider a group intervention.

In most cases, you can engage the angry individual appropriately and effectively, mollify the situation in the short term, and address the underlying causes in the long term. There are five basic steps to follow:

1. Start with yourself.

2. Gather information.

3. Schedule a meeting soon.

4. Engage the person.

5. Evaluate and take action.

1. Start With Yourself
Be aware of your own feelings of anger and how those feelings may affect your interactions and relationships at work. A common response when dealing with angry people is to become angry in return because of the discomfort and disruption caused by their anger. It's very helpful simply to remind yourself that you may be angry too, and to manage your own anger first.

You also should be aware that part of an employee's anger may be directed at you, even if you're not directly involved in the problem at hand. It's likely that the individual feels less in control of the situation because of your authority. If you become angry in turn, your ability to listen to the employee will be compromised and probably make the situation far worse.

2. Gather Information
Try to find out what's going on from at least two independent sources. If you cannot find the answers from independent sources, you will have to rely on the people directly involved. Bear in mind that they may have very distorted versions of the information. Don't play judge. By placing yourself in the role of "information gatherer," you will diminish the potential defensive responses of the angry individual and give yourself greater credibility to ultimately resolve the situation. Remember, when you are gathering information, you are trying to identify the underlying source of the anger.

3. Schedule a Meeting Soon
Meet with the person on the day of the incident, but not "right this moment." Let a few hours pass in between, so both of you have time to prepare for a potentially difficult conversation. Anger is exaggerated when people are distracted, stressed, or not feeling their best. Therefore, select a time when both of you can freely discuss the situation with as little distraction as possible. But don't put off the meeting to another day—that will only leave time for the anger to fester.

Be strategic about the place of the meeting as well. If you want to emphasize your authority in the situation, your office may properly convey the message of who is ultimately in control. If you'd like to emphasize your concern for the employee and convey more neutrality, select a site where you can de-emphasize your power, such as a conference room or off-site location. In most cases, if you wish to find the real cause of the anger and address it, you will want to de-emphasize your authority and try to address the employee on as equal a footing as possible. Your authority, after all, is probably not in doubt. What you need to convey is that you care about the employee and what caused his or her anger, and that you'd like to resolve the situation.

It is very important that you prepare in advance for the meeting. Question your assumptions and suspend judgment. You need to gather information. Rehearse what you are going to say and decide what you are not going to say. While it is critical that you listen carefully before making any judgments, it may be necessary for you, as the manager, to give the angry person feedback about the episode in question.

4. Engage the Person
When you meet with the angry individual, remember that your primary task is to listen. Let the angry person express the anger in his or her own words. Listen carefully and actively, but don't interrupt. Guide the discussion only when necessary, and use neutral but probing questions such as "How?," "Why?," and "Can you be more specific?" Try to gather more data from the anger. Throughout the meeting, exhibit respect, sensitivity, open-mindedness, flexibility, and tolerance.

Sometimes angry people simply want to vent their anger to another person—especially a person in a position of authority. If the angry individual wants to vent, remember two important facts:

Venting anger does not relieve angry feelings and sometimes exacerbates them.

You do not have an obligation to make yourself the recipient of undifferentiated hostility.

Make clear that the reason for the meeting is to get to the underlying cause of the anger and attempt to resolve it. Let the person vent, but only enough to convey the information. If the individual is repeating the same words again and again, raising his or her voice consistently, and speaking in absolutes like "always" and "never," then you may need to cut off the venting.

Be aware, though, that the individual may consider it a significant remedy—or at least a first step—simply to be heard on the matter by an authority figure. Often you can minimize over-venting by listening intently and silently. If you appear to be contemplating the individual's words, he or she will probably choose them more carefully.

While you want to focus on the individual during the meeting—making eye contact, nodding your head, showing concern, smiling when appropriate—you also want to take notes. This signals that you're taking the matter seriously and provides a record of the conversation. To add even more gravity, consider tape-recording the conversation. (Be sure to ask for permission or at least inform the individual.)

Finally, in cases where there is a lack of trust between you and the angry individual, it may be appropriate to ask a neutral third person to be present at the meeting, preferably someone who is also an authority figure. Again, your primary purpose is to listen not just for the immediate facts but also for the underlying cause of the anger.

5. Evaluate and Take Action
If there is a clear source of the anger, that source must be addressed. By now you've already taken an important step by listening to the angry individual. After listening, you must evaluate the situation:

Is the anger legitimate?

If so, was the individual's behavior appropriate?

These are two different questions. You should take action on both.

First, provide constructive feedback on the way the individual expressed the anger. If the person handled the situation well, you should offer positive feedback to reinforce the behavior. If the individual handled the situation in an unacceptable or inappropriate way, you must address this matter directly. Explain your expectations for behavior in similar situations. In cases where the person needs to develop anger-management skills, direct him or her to a professional or provide coaching based on the guidelines for dealing with anger in yourself.

Second, seek a solution to the underlying cause of the anger. Is there a legitimate issue that requires action? If the angry person has confided in you, explaining the source of the anger, then he or she assumes that you will try to address that problem. If you take no action, the person is apt to feel a sense of betrayal—which will only lead to more angry feelings and potentially unhealthy behavior. However, if you listen carefully, evaluate fully, and take concrete steps to address the source of the anger, you will help to assuage the anger. Equally important, you will be able to use the data from your investigation to seize opportunities for improvement. That's how you turn anger from a negative to a positive influence in your workplace.

Once you've grappled with your feelings, the next challenge is managing your anger by following these steps:

1. Avoid anger.

2. Calm yourself physically.

3. Think logically.

4. Express your feelings appropriately and effectively.

5. Seek solutions to the underlying causes of your anger.

6. Let it go.

1. Avoid Anger
When thinking about this important step, keep in mind the wide range of things likely to cause anger; for example, big-picture (systemic) causes, blocked goals, perceived inequity, divergent values, and unequal power relationships.

If you lead an active life, have a busy career, and interact with many people, you cannot isolate yourself from every external irritant. You're going to sit in traffic jams, be put on hold when making business calls, and so on. Sometimes you will get less than your fair share, or your children will, or your parents will, or your friends will. You won't make every sale or meet every deadline. You will probably work with people who are less diligent than you, less competent than you, or less honest than you. You will probably have a boss, or a teacher, or a family member, or a customer who has power over you. And you will probably find yourself with power over others.

Even if you could hide from every environmental factor likely to anger you, you still would be vulnerable to internal causes of anger. You might be mad at yourself for placing such restrictions on your life, for depriving yourself of all that the outside world has to offer. You might feel that others disapprove of your hiding. And so forth.

Although you cannot hide from the causes of anger, you can take steps that make you less susceptible to them. If you feel happy, confident, and in control, then you are less likely to respond as strongly to anger stimuli. Try these steps:

Consider your environment and lifestyle.

Examine your outlook on life.

Start taking better care of yourself.

Consider Your Environment and Lifestyle
Start by compiling a list of the things that make you angry; then see whether you can avoid any of them or at least make helpful adjustments.

For another approach, take a look at your typical daily schedule and then fill in the details. Be as thorough as possible about what you usually do each hour:

Where are you, with whom, doing what, and how?

Then think about which aspects of your environment and lifestyle are most likely to make you feel angry.

Can you think of adjustments that might reduce the anger? For example:

If you and your spouse tend to fight at a certain time each day, perhaps you can make it a point to cross paths at a different time.

If your commute drives you crazy, maybe there's an alternative mode of transportation you can use or an alternative time you can travel.

If you hate your officemate, maybe you can move to a different workspace.

If you become angry when you watch the evening news, maybe you can read the newspaper instead.

Start Taking Better Care of Yourself
Make sure you're getting enough sleep and exercise. Eat well, selecting healthy foods, but don't eat too much. Drink lots of water and less coffee and liquor. If you smoke or do drugs, stop. The better you feel physically, the less susceptible you will be to anger. Lack of sleep, health problems, alcohol consumption, and drug use all increase the likelihood that even small annoyances will provoke your anger. In the long run, feeling good physically will contribute to a healthier approach to anger and make harmful anger less likely.

That said, you also need time alone to think and relax. Schedule personal time for just thinking—not watching television, reading, doing chores, or anything else.

Finally, take care of yourself in your dealings with other people. Be assertive (not aggressive), expressing your needs and wants in straight, simple terms. That doesn't mean you need to become selfish and unreasonable. But if you keep your needs and wants to yourself and never express them, you're likely to be very disappointed very frequently. And that leads to resentment and anger. Other people cannot read your mind; so you have to speak up and make yourself understood.

2. Calm Yourself Physically
No matter how diligently you try to avoid anger, you will still get angry on occasion. Pay attention to the people and circumstances that tend to make you angry, and learn to recognize the early warning signs of anger:

Do you tense up? Clench your fists?

Does your heart race?

Do you sweat? Flush? Pale?

Do you breathe rapidly? Grind your teeth? Glare? Shudder? Twitch? Become speechless? Feel like yelling? Crying? Hitting?

When you detect those warning signs, take the first step to effective anger management by calming yourself down. How? Try one or more of these techniques:

Physical Exercises

Jump up and down eight times.

Do 11 jumping jacks.

Clench your muscles—fists, toes, legs, arms, chest, stomach, neck, face—and release them. Do this three times.

Close your eyes and clasp your hands behind your head and count to nine.

Close your eyes and breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Do this 10 times.

Close your eyes, cross your arms in front of you and clasp your shoulders (right shoulder with left hand, left shoulder with right hand). Hug yourself and rock from side to side five times.

Take a five- or 10-minute walk or run.

Mental Exercises

Close your eyes and sing or hum to yourself.

Recite a brief poem to yourself, or say a prayer.

Tell yourself, "Relax, don't let this get to you." Do this 10 times.

Count backward from 100.

Tell yourself a joke, or think of something funny.

Think of someone you love.

Think of a beautiful place where you've spent important time.

The physical exercises will help to dissipate or at least diffuse your anger, and the mental exercises will help to slow your heart rate and reverse some of the adjustments your body is making to prepare for aggression. These techniques will also give you enough distance—physical and/or temporal—to think through the situation and break it down into its component parts.

Note that any physically purposeful interruption (exercise or exertion) and form of mental relaxation will provide similar benefits.

3. Think Logically
It's critical to realize that what makes us angry is not just a certain stimulus but also our interpretation of that stimulus. For this reason, once you've begun to calm yourself physically, it's time to start thinking—to review your situation before you speak or act.

First, admit to yourself that you're angry and remind yourself that anger distorts your thinking; then get ready to do some cognitive restructuring. As you think through the situation, stay away from absolutes like "never" and "always." These are detrimental because:

They are usually inaccurate.

They make you feel overly justified in your anger.

They suggest that a situation cannot be changed (and thus that problems cannot be solved).

When expressed, they alienate people who might otherwise be willing to work toward a solution.

Start asking and answering these questions for yourself:

Who or what is making me angry?

Why am I angry?

What provoked me? When? How?

Is there an alternative explanation for the provoking event?

How would the other people involved describe the provoking event?

Does my self-esteem feel threatened?

How do I feel? Do I feel betrayed? Disapproved of? Deprived? Exploited? Frustrated? Humiliated? Manipulated? Restricted? Threatened?

What is my anger telling me? What data is it providing?

Is my anger legitimate? If so, why? And at whom or what should I be directing it?

How angry should I be under the circumstances?

What are some reasons why I should be less angry?

What do I want to accomplish with my anger?

Questions such as these help you develop a task orientation toward the anger, in place of an ego-driven focus. Again, admit to yourself that you're angry. Simply say, "I am angry at [OBJECT OF ANGER] because [REASON]." Then set your intentions to do the following:

Express your feelings effectively to the appropriate recipient of your anger

Seek solutions to the underlying cause of the anger

Let go of the anger

4. Express Your Feelings Appropriately and Effectively
If you want to express your feelings appropriately and effectively, you first have to know how you feel, what you think, and what you need or want. This is why it's so important to think logically before you speak or act on your anger. Angry people often jump to conclusions and react in the heat of emotion. Whether you repress anger or vent it, this approach is ineffective.

If you've calmed your physical response to anger and logically thought through your anger, then you should know whom you're angry with and why. What is more, you should have a more balanced view of the situation and a diminished level of anger. Most important, you should know what you want to accomplish with your anger.

What might you decide to accomplish by expressing your anger? There are a number of possibilities:

You might seek revenge for the hurt you feel.

You might try to repair hurt feelings by confiding your vulnerability to the person who hurt you. Here you hope you'll receive an apology, an admission of the other person's vulnerability, or a similar gratifying response.

You might remove an obstacle to effective communication by "clearing the air."

You might seek a specific remedy to a particular, identifiable harm.

You might look for ways to prevent similar anger-provoking events from occurring in the future.

Of course, all but the first of the above goals are productive. While the desire for revenge is a natural impulse, it is extremely counterproductive, escalating conflict, fear, defensiveness, and anger, and posing serious problems for effective resolution.

Express your anger in the right words to the right person at the right time. Schedule a meeting soon, but not too soon, to discuss the matter with the appropriate person. Remember your goal: What do you want to accomplish? Decide what you want to say. For example, "I am angry with you because [REASON]. I think the underlying cause of my anger is [CAUSE]. What I want [or need] now is [WANT OR NEED]." Be honest. Be reasonable. Keep the message brief, straight, and simple.

When you know what you want to say, rehearse. However, when you speak with the other person, remember that you want to have a conversation, not give a speech. Say up front, "I know we may have different points of view about this situation. I'd like to tell you how I feel, and I'd like to know how you feel. Would you like me to go first? I'll be very brief." When it's your turn to speak, you can present your case.

Be sure to listen carefully to the other person's viewpoint. Don't get distracted; don't start preparing defensive responses; don't interrupt. Listen. Hear what the person is saying. Perhaps he or she is still upset and expressing a lot of anger. The person might even respond vengefully, seeking to hurt you because you hurt him or her. Try to listen and realize that. If the person's response begins to make you angry, try to calm down and think logically.

As you're listening, try to identify next steps. Maintain a task orientation: You think you know the underlying cause of your anger. What is the underlying cause of the other person's anger? You know what you want or need (your goals). What does the other person need or want (what are his or her goals)? Are your goals in alignment with the person's goals, or do they clash? What is the relationship between the cause of your anger and the cause of the other person's anger?

Bear in mind, there are cases when a person's behavior or an entire situation is unacceptable. In such a case, you must be able to describe the behavior or situation, take responsibility for your view that it is unacceptable, and describe the behavior or situation and its tangible effects. If the anger's causes are intransigent or the person's goals and yours are mutually exclusive, there may be no obvious next steps. Here the best approach is negotiation—to work together to arrive at a mutually acceptable solution involving mutual compromises.

If you wish to use the data provided by anger to your advantage, you must go beyond resolving acute hostility. The next step is to seek solutions to the underlying causes of the anger.

5. Seek Solutions to the Underlying Causes of Your Anger
Remember that anger has a wide range of causes and influencing factors. Some issues can be addressed easily; others are more difficult. For example, if you're ticked off that you didn't get a free donut at work on Friday, you can come to work earlier next Friday, in plenty of time to get a donut. Or you can go buy yourself one. Or you can congratulate yourself on saving the calories. That's an easy one. More challenging would be if you were angry that you didn't get a promotion or a significant raise this year. But you can take action: build new skills, tackle important projects, do great work, and impress important decision-makers.

Other issues are simply beyond reach. For example, if you're angry at a system that allows terrorism to occur, there may not be much you can do. Still, you can seek a solution that will help your anger by changing your response to the underlying cause.

First, you must look closer at the underlying cause of your anger. By this point, you should be clear about who or what is making you angry and why. Ask and answer the following questions:

Are you angry about some large systemic factor (the weather, the economy, the culture, the government, the company)?

Do you perceive some inequity somewhere?

Are your goals being blocked somehow?

Are you clashing with someone over values?

Are you dealing with someone who has authority over you in a formal or informal hierarchy? Is the person using that authority in a way that is making you angry?

Are you dealing with someone who answers to you as an authority in a formal or informal hierarchy? Is the person letting you down in some way?

Is your self-esteem being threatened in some way? How?

Do you feel betrayed? Disapproved of? Deprived? Exploited? Frustrated? Humiliated? Manipulated? Restricted? Threatened?

Second, ask yourself: Is the underlying cause something I can change? If the answer is yes, prepare to make a plan of action. If the answer is no, prepare to make a plan of action that will help you change how you feel about the cause or at least how you respond to those feelings. In the end, you may simply have to "let it go."

Third, make your plan of action:

State the cause of your anger.

State your objective in the form of a concrete goal with a clear deadline.

Schedule intermediate goals and deadlines.

Plan your next steps. What are you going to do about this today?

Monitor achievements along the way and stay on track

.

Be aware that some plans of action take a long time to implement. If the undertaking is worthwhile, stick it out; but don't hold onto your anger. Draw strength from the fact that you're taking action to address the underlying cause, and channel your anger into that action. As for any residual anger, "let it go."

Finally, upon reflection you may decide that changing the underlying cause is possible but not worth your time and energy. In which case, once again, you may simply have to "let it go."

6. Let It Go
You must be able to let go of your anger eventually, whether the underlying cause is (a) immediately resolved, (b) resolved over a long time, (c) impossible to resolve, or (d) simply not worth the time and energy needed to resolve it. Let go of the anger, and move on.

Whenever You Diagnose Anger as an issue in your workplace, you must be ready to take action. This is true whether anger is an issue for you, another individual, your team, or your organization. The problem is, when we deal with anger, we tend to focus on the feelings of anger and their outward expressions. That's because they make us feel uncomfortable. Our goal thus becomes to "stop the yelling" and get people to "calm down." But, as necessary as that goal might be in some situations, it doesn't resolve the anger—it's like trying to put out a fire by chasing the smoke. Anger is an effect; for every instance of it, there is at least one cause.

An effective anger-management strategy goes far beyond the firefighting that temporarily maintains civility. The true key to resolving anger and tapping its benefits is to focus on the source. By identifying and addressing the underlying causes of anger, you can use the data provided by the anger to continually improve relationships as well as systems, practices, and policies.

The Causes of Anger in the Workplace
Each episode of anger has a unique source—a particular combination of causes. What are those causes in the workplace? In academic and journalistic studies of anger, researchers often ask people what makes them angry at work. Here is a list of their typical responses:

The way my boss/supervisor treats me

Stupid company policies

Coworkers who don't do their fair share

Not enough control over assignments

Not enough pay

Not enough benefits

Tight deadlines

Too much work

Coworkers making careless mistakes

Dealing with rude customers

Lack of cooperation

Stupidity and ignorance

How the company treats coworkers

How the company treats me

While people may differ in the specifics of what makes them angry, the causes usually have one common denominator: interpersonal dynamics—relationships between and among people. Every person has a basic need to value him- or herself and to feel valued by others. Yet when people's self-esteem is threatened, they're reluctant to admit it, even to themselves.

Some leading psychologists argue that anger is driven by primary emotions that attack self-esteem; these include feelings of betrayal, disapproval, deprivation, exploitation, frustration, humiliation, manipulation, restriction, and threat. Such emotions can be traced to any of a wide range of causes, from broad contextual circumstances to highly personal impulses. We may categorize the causes into five troublesome areas:

Anger at the system

Perceived inequity

Blocked goals

Divergent values

Unequal power relations

1. Anger at the System
Today many factors beyond our control create a broad context more likely to produce anger. In our highly interdependent and interconnected global economy, events halfway around the world can come knocking on our door and make us feel threatened and insecure.

Downsizing, increased workloads, and uncertainty about the fate of markets and organizations cause worry and anger—stress all around. People are spending more time at work—where they are expected to work harder, faster, smarter, and better—and working closely with one another in small groups and teams, thus creating more settings for emotions to be exhibited and shared. Performance standards have risen, but job security is a thing of the past. The increase of dual-career families has caused added pressure; couples often have to deal with frazzling commutes and nightmarish child-care logistics, and bring their increased anxiety to work.

In too many organizations, management accepts incivility, disrespect, and over-the-top anger. Employees are expected to take abuse as a hurdle to organizational success. Meanwhile, norms of civility and politeness in society as a whole continue to erode. Television offers a vision of immediate gratification, in which problems are easily solved by the show's end. Employees nurtured on these messages are not ready for the frustration of real life, where nothing may be solved by the day's end—or even the week's end.

Many of us work in organizations that are so large, so bureaucratized, and so departmentalized, we find it difficult to identify the cause of our anger. This may deepen our anger because it makes us feel out of control. Anger, by its very nature, is a feeling directed at a proximate cause—we want to aim anger at something or someone in particular. When large organizational systems with complex rules and procedures obscure our "target," we may grow angry at the system itself.

Systemic problems are by nature difficult to fix. But anger at the system is a signal that everything is not okay, at least not for everybody. It is important to be aware of this context when looking for more acute causal factors.

2. Perceived Inequity
As individuals, we have a strong tendency to compare ourselves to others. If we find that by some measure we are doing better than they are (perhaps we make more money or have a better job), we usually feel good; if we find that we are not doing as well, we usually feel bad. But this kind of personal difference is not the same thing as inequity. Inequity is a lack of fairness and justice. When we become aware of differences that seem unfair or unjust—especially when they have to do with issues we find important—we can experience strong feelings of resentment and anger.

In the workplace, we tend to look at what other people get (monetary reward, praise, and promotion) in relation to what they contribute (how hard they work, how smart they are). We also tend to work out in our heads what we get in relation to what we give. If it looks like another person is getting a better "deal" based on these equations, then we tend to get angry.

It is critical for managers to recognize employees' feelings of inequity. One of the most common reasons for employee violence and theft is not personal gain, but the desire to regain a sense of justice and fair play. For instance, after company mergers and acquisitions, employee theft tends to increase. Why? Because people feel that their job security is threatened. They're stressed about the organizational change and fearful about how they'll fit into the new regime. They feel they're likely to get lost in the shuffle and to suffer for reasons over which they have no control or even influence. In short, they engage in such behavior because they want to "balance the situation."

People who seek to "avenge" perceived wrongs done to them by the organization see themselves as having a moral cause; that's what makes the depth of anger (and the negative behaviors it can cause) seem so extreme. The cause may actually be a long-term set of perceived inequities and injustices that a person groups together.

When perceived inequity is driving anger, the first question we must ask is whether there is true inequity that must be resolved. Sometimes the perception of inequity stems from a lack of information. One might think: "Mary gets Thursdays off, and I don't. That's not fair." Just adding a piece of information can change the perception: "Mary works on Saturdays, and you don't. So she gets Thursdays off to make up for it." This is one reason why some transparency is preferable to secrecy in employer-employee dealings. Every deal is different and negotiated on its own terms with its own rationale. Such terms are less likely to be perceived as unfair if the rationale for the deal is transparent and expectations are clear.

3. Blocked Goals
All purposeful action involves the pursuit of goals. Our most basic human goals have to do with survival: protecting ourselves and our territory. But goals range in scope from great to small, whether the goal is mastering a technical skill or walking from your kitchen table to the living-room couch. We go about living by accomplishing one goal after another, from the most basic to the most extravagant. That's why most people become extremely frustrated when the pursuit of their goals is blocked in some way. The most common source of blocked goals is another person or group in pursuit of different goals.

In the workplace, goal-setting is at its most formal and the accomplishment of goals is explicitly and singularly valued. When two or more individuals or groups work together but have different goals, sometimes those goals come into conflict. In some cases, there is a clash in overall objectives, though usually the overall objectives are the same for everyone—profit. Problems more typically develop from a difference in shorter-term imperatives. For example, a sales group promises more than a service group can deliver, meaning that customers are always making inordinate demands, causing overwork and stress; the service group disappoints customers and interferes with subsequent sales efforts.

Similar goal clashes also may occur between and among individuals. Perhaps a manager's goal is to increase productivity, but his subordinate's goal is to slow down and enjoy the work. Or maybe a team member's goal is to get all the work done quickly and go home early, while her teammate's goal is to take a long time to complete a project so the team can collect overtime pay.

Of course, it is not the case that differing goals must always clash. Communication about alternative methods or even alternative goals can lead to healthy coexistence and even synergy. This requires trust and a likelihood of benefit to both parties.

When differing goals are mutually exclusive, decisions must be made. Which goal is more important? What adjustments can be made to the goals that are secondary to the more important goal?

Keep in mind that sometimes goals are blocked by circumstances that have nothing to do with competing goals. Even a factor as neutral as the weather can present an obstacle. The blockage is no less frustrating, though, and causes no less anger. By thinking creatively about what is causing the goal blockage, you may be able to circumvent the angry response. By removing the barriers—if doing so is realistic and appropriate—you can often turn a potentially negative situation into a positive one. If you cannot remove the barriers, then you must be prepared to deal with the frustration and anger that the blocked goals are likely to cause.

4. DivergentValues
When others behave in ways that we find abhorrent, we usually become angry—such behavior seems an affront to our values. In general, people vary in what they regard as abhorrent. But in the workplace, most people value competence, hard work, and integrity, and so are likely to get angry when they perceive a disregard or violation of these values.

Incompetence or laziness in a coworker, subordinate, or superior offends our sense of efficiency and hinders work-group productivity. It also may have long-term effects with respect to damaged client relationships or high monetary cost. Behavior that is considered morally reprehensible—such as stealing, cheating, taking advantage of others, and harassing people—is particularly noxious because it may involve direct damage to others.

It is important to understand that this type of anger is based on blame and the perception of intent. The angry person blames the offender for a misdeed of some type because he or she thinks the offender intended to cause harm. Managers must be prepared to consider intent without playing judge and jury.

No matter how infuriating incompetence may be, nobody intends to be incompetent. When a person acts incompetent in order to evade responsibility, the problem is a combination of laziness and dishonesty. Incompetence per se results from failures in selection, training, and/or supervision; thus when we are faced with true incompetence, the appropriate target of anger is management, not the incompetent worker.

In the case of laziness and failure of integrity, the appropriate target of anger is equally clear. The reaction should be swift and the offender evaluated. Does the offender understand that he or she has engaged in behavior that is unacceptable in the workplace? Does this person understand that the behavior will not be tolerated? Will he or she be given another chance?

In terms of assigning blame, we also need to remember an important finding from psychological research: that people have a tendency to blame people rather than circumstances when a problem crops up. For example, if a team is about to give a major presentation and a member has lost data vital to that presentation, most people will blame the member, at least initially, rather than factors beyond the member's control. Their first thought is that the member is incompetent, lazy, or dishonest, not that something like a computer glitch or a virus is the actual culprit. Why do people do this? Because it's easier to be angry at a person than at a situation.

Considering this natural tendency to look for blameworthy intent, we must be careful to check the facts when we believe a person is at fault or intended negative consequences. Good people make unintentional mistakes, and good people are the victims of factors beyond their control.

5. Unequal Power Relations
Organizations are structured on hierarchical relationships, and such relationships, by their very nature, generate fear and anger—the less powerful fearing the more powerful, with anger flowing in both directions. Typically, the less powerful figure is angry that the more powerful figure holds the key to his or her fear. And the more powerful figure is angered whenever that power is questioned or threatened because it confers a feeling of control and security in the relationship.

Anger may flow both ways, but it is more apt to be expressed in the downward flow. For example, according to one study, in situations where employees were angry with their bosses, only 45 percent expressed their feelings immediately, during the anger-eliciting event; however, 58 percent expressed their anger immediately toward coworkers, and 71 percent when anger was directed at subordinates.

Why does anger's expression tend to flow downward in organizations? First, those with hierarchical power feel the need to display and test their power periodically. Second, they become accustomed to the fruits of their power and insensitive to its impact on subordinates.

For subordinates, of course, that power and its impact are considerable. Just think. The more powerful make demands on their subordinates' time, impose goals and deadlines, evaluate competence and performance, and determine people's chances of promotion and success. Unfortunately, too often they also treat subordinates with disrespect, freely castigating them or otherwise lowering their self-esteem.

In any relationship, disrespect—treating others in a way that denies their fundamental worth—is likely to cause anger. When directed at someone who already feels powerless or dependent, it creates potent feelings of anger and a sense of unfairness. That's why studies show that people who are angry with their bosses link the offense to unfairness—an issue not as significant when anger is directed at coworkers or subordinates.

Because those in authority represent the "system" and have far-ranging responsibilities—from making decisions about burdens and rewards to enforcing standards of performance and conduct—they are not only the most likely to express anger in the workplace, but also the most likely to provoke anger in subordinates.

The most dreaded impacts of anger are those that come from aggression. Aggression can be physical or verbal; active or passive; direct or indirect. The matrix below organizes the various forms of workplace aggression within these categories.



When you identify such acts of aggression, it is safe to say that you have diagnosed an expression of anger. Active and direct forms of aggression are the easiest signs and symptoms to identify, while passive and indirect forms are the most difficult. It is a mixed blessing that passive and indirect forms are by far the most common. They are less noticeable and less damaging in the short term, but for these reasons they can continue without remedy for significant periods of time. This can result in considerable damage to interpersonal relationships and team performance as well as the organization as a whole.

Be aware of anger's more subtle and insidious signs and symptoms so you can deal with them before they turn into the more dangerous acts of direct and active aggression.

Most of the Time, when we think of anger, we think of its negative effects. That's why anger is often seen as the forbidden emotion. People who express anger are considered to be "irrational," and "out of control," two of the worst things that can be said about a person. This is particularly true in organizations, where people are supposed to leave their emotions at the workplace door. What many people don't realize—or never consider—is that anger in itself is neither positive nor negative. If managed effectively, anger can be a positive and productive emotion.

The Positive Side of Anger
It's easier to determine the most productive response to anger when we're removed from the conflict and from angry feelings. At this distance, we can also better see anger's positive side.

By considering a common anger scenario and imagining a productive response, we can see that conflicts in a dynamic group are not only necessary but also potentially productive.

Work groups must make decisions about the allocation of resources, the relative priority of goals, and the various means for reaching goals. Conflict, and the anger produced by conflict, shows that group members care about their product and are contributing diverse opinions. The twofold step of considering differences and resolving them is critical to any organization's efforts to adapt in a rapidly changing environment. That's why the leading research indicates that conflict over tasks within a work group contributes to better outcomes, even when the conflict is intense enough to provoke angry feelings, as long as people stay focused on the work itself—the resources allocated, goal setting, task planning, and execution.

When anger is focused on the work itself, it can become highly valuable. Such anger can do a number of things:

Act as channel for energy that fuels intensive work and long hours

Lead a person to persist against the odds in pursuit of difficult goals

Act as a channel into creativity and innovation

Prompt debate over competing points of view, resulting in better decisions

Lead to the kind of healthy competition that drives productivity and quality

Provide important data on policies, practices, relationships, behavior, and conditions

Lead to improvements in the above when the data is handled properly

Of course, anger doesn't always remain focused on the work, even if it originated there. Often work-related anger degenerates into interpersonal anger. However, even interpersonal anger can be very valuable when managed effectively. It can do such positive things as:

Lead to fruitful discussion, resolution, and action that dramatically improves a strained relationship

Motivate a person to face strong competitors

Motivate a person to confront wrongdoers

Draw attention to injustice or perceived injustice

If you find that you have not, then consider how you might use your anger more positively in the future.

The Costs of Anger in the workplace can be devastating. Indeed, for many people the subject immediately evokes headlines of workplace shootings with terrible casualties. Such tragedies bear the highest price, from loss of life, serious injury, and psychological trauma to loss of productivity, property damage, and lingering confusion. They exemplify the most extreme, the most costly, and the most attention-getting manifestation of anger: actual violence. Fortunately, this is also the least common of anger's many forms. Most angry feelings never result in violence. However, they can still be very costly if poorly managed.

The costs of nonviolent anger in the workplace stem from cold, festering anger as well as angry outbursts; from anger that is expressed indirectly as well as directly; and even from anger that is never expressed at all. The harm caused by disruptive interactions, hurt feelings, and mental preoccupation with conflict and revenge may be obvious. But not so the more subtle costs of anger: personal damage ranging from diminished career prospects to diminished health; workgroup damage ranging from lost work time to lost innovation; and organizational damage ranging from increased absenteeism to increased turnover. While it is difficult to calculate the monetary value of direct and indirect costs to individuals and organizations, we can enumerate some of the leading costly impacts of poorly managed anger.

Impact on the Angry Person
It was once thought that venting anger was healthier than holding it in. Today most findings indicate that angry people suffer negative effects whether they vent their feelings or not. Anger in the individual causes strong emotional and physical responses resulting in impaired cognitive and physical functioning. Poorly managed anger, then, can damage your career, and if the anger is chronic, it can result in long-term health problems.

Here are the specifics:

Immediate Emotional Components of Anger

Increased impulsiveness

Increased feeling of dominance

Increased animation

Diminished caution

Diminished ability to reason

Immediate Physical Components of Anger

Adrenal glands release.

Epinephrine surges.

Heart beats faster.

Blood pressure rises.

Muscles in chest, back, and arms may tense up.

Body may sweat; flush or pale; feel clammy.

The Results of Anger: Potential Career Problems

Individuals carry secret or open grudges against you.

You get a reputation for losing your temper.

You get a reputation for abusing others.

You become a target of lawsuits and non-juridical hearings.

You become the target of illegal forms of revenge.

You get a reputation for making judgment errors in the heat of the moment.

Those with grudges against you try to thwart your explicit goals.

People are less likely to want to work with you or for you.

Risk-averse senior management tries to avoid having you on their projects.

Clients, customers, and vendors try to avoid contact with you.

The Results of Anger: Long-Term Health Problems

• Weakened immune system
  
  
• Gastritis and other gastrointestinal tract illnesses
  
  
• Strokes
  
  
• Heart attacks
  
  
• Kidney disease
  
  
• Elevated blood pressure
  
  
• Headaches
  
  
• Respiratory disorders
  
  
• Skin disorders
  
  
• Arthritis
  
  
• Disabilities of the nervous system
  
  
• Circulatory disorders

In addition, anger can cause severe emotional problems and even result in suicide.

Anger is a challenging emotion to deal with in any context, but it is especially challenging in the workplace. Why? Because there we tend to find the following:

1. Complex relationships

2. People under pressure

3. High stakes

4. Lack of control

As we explore these topics, be sure to try the brainstorming exercises that accompany them.

1. Complex Relationships
While human relationships are always complex, relationships in the workplace tend to be interdependent, competitive, hierarchical, public, and compulsory.

First, you rarely choose all the people in your organization, division, team, or workspace. Indeed, through selection processes, assignment decisions, and cubicle allocations, you're generally thrust into spending inordinate amounts of time with people who otherwise would be perfect strangers.

Second, you must do much more than coexist with your coworkers. You must depend upon them and they must depend upon you, routinely, even if they're the most significant competitors you face in your career.

Third, almost everyone you deal with at work is ranked in the organization chart; so you must grapple with explicit authority issues and implicit power dynamics.

2. People Under Pressure
Pressure in human relationships can come from many different sources, but most often it comes from a divergence in the best interests of the parties to the relationship. That divergence might be real or perceived; it might have to do with ends or means or both. The interests at stake might relate to expectations, needs, desires, or all of the above.

Even under the best of circumstances, it's difficult to keep the interests of two or more people in alignment for any extended period of time. Take a simple example: You and your spouse have a great relationship. You're driving down the highway together. She's late for an important business meeting, but you must use a lavatory ASAP. The divergence of your interests is likely to put more pressure on your relationship, at least temporarily.

Now think about this phenomenon in the workplace. Keeping the interests of you, your boss, your peers, your subordinates, your vendors, and your customers in alignment all the time is impossible. Meanwhile, you must also contend with competitors in your industry and their allies, whose interests are in direct opposition to yours.

Thus, for most people, work involves a constant juggling of, and wrestling with, competing interests. Whose interests are you going to attend to first? Whose interests might have to be sacrificed? Whose interests will be purposefully undermined? And how will you do this while protecting and advancing your own interests? That's where a lot of the pressure comes from.

3. High Stakes
The stakes at work are always high—for you and for every person with whom you must deal. Why is that? For most people, work is the key to earning a living. As one fierce salesperson said to a competitor, "I don't hate you, but you're trying to take food off my family's table. So I will crush you if I can." Enough said.

Some people are focused on achieving a degree of financial security for the long term—they want to be free of the anxiety of living from paycheck to paycheck. For others, it may not be the money in the bank account that makes them feel secure, but rather, knowing that through their skills and hard work they can always earn money when necessary.

In the rare cases when earning a living and achieving some level of security is not a working person's primary career agenda, the stakes may be even higher. Work may be your primary creative outlet or your only creative outlet. Maybe work is your main source of self-esteem, the thing in your life that makes you feel smart, accomplished, respected, and important. Work might feel like your sphere of control and influence—your "turf." It could even be that you have a deep emotional connection to your work—that your work is your passion.

Remember this: You have a lot at stake and so does everyone else. Whether the stakes are financial or psychological or both, they are always on the line in every interaction at work. These stakes are on the line every time you pursue a goal, face a crisis, or see an opportunity. Not only is there pressure from competing interests, but the competition at work really matters to everyone involved.

4. Lack of Control
In the workplace, your circumstances and the circumstances of others can shift suddenly due to a wide range of factors beyond your control. There are so many variables, including:

• Geopolitical conditions



• National and local politics



• Weather and natural disasters



• Global economic shifts



• Changes in your industry, ranging from new competitors to new inventions



• Changes in your organization, ranging from mergers to new leadership to a new person on your team

The list goes on and on.

No matter how well you plan ahead, the unexpected is always lurking. You just don't know what it might be, when it might happen, and how much it might affect you and your plans. Now add this capricious element to a high-stakes workplace environment where you are already managing complex relationships with a whole bunch of individuals, many of whom have conflicting interests. It's no wonder that so many people feel a great deal of diffuse anxiety about their working lives and careers.

We've all dealt with angry people in our personal and professional lives. And we all know how it feels to be angry. But what exactly is anger?

Anger is a normal, basic emotion that ranges from mild irritation to intense rage. Like fear, anger stems from our instinct for self-preservation and is always provoked by some stimulus. The stimulus may be internal or external, direct or indirect. Common anger stimuli include betrayal, disapproval, deprivation, exploitation, frustration, humiliation, manipulation, restriction, and threat. In response to one or more of these triggering stimuli, the body releases two hormones, adrenaline and noradrenalin, which produce physiological arousal, including muscle tension, increased blood pressure, accelerated heart rate, and rapid breathing. That's why angry people often scowl, grind their teeth, shudder, glare, clench their fists, flush (or pale), and twitch.

But the effects of anger go way beyond these physical manifestations. Anger has a huge impact on our perceptions, interpretations, thinking, communication, and behavior. That's why angry people often have a difficult time listening to "reason" (or appreciating the "other side of the story"); speak in a cold monotone voice; yell; say things that are intimidating, threatening, or hurtful; and lash out physically at inanimate objects or, even worse, at animals or other people.

Of course, some people do not directly express their anger at all. They might try to deny and repress their feelings, which leaves the anger seething beneath the surface. Such unexpressed anger may find another outlet, such as physical symptoms. Or the unexpressed anger may come out in passive-aggressive forms, such as withdrawal from the relationship, disrespect, sarcasm, or lack of cooperation. Sometimes anger may go unexpressed until it emerges in an outburst, or until it's inadvertently redirected toward an individual, group, institution, or condition that is entirely unrelated to the true source of the anger.

In rare cases, individuals truly learn how to calm their anger internally until the feelings subside without ever being expressed. Of course, this response is healthier than over-expressing or repressing anger, but it doesn't tap into the potential benefits of anger.

It is critical to recognize that anger is not necessarily a negative emotion. Anger often signals important data about relationships, resources, circumstances, or procedures that need improvement. When that data is recognized, processed, and acted upon, anger can lead to productive actions and positive outcomes. Effectively managed, it can give us the strength to persist in our goals, confront competitors, generate new ideas, or approach colleagues and superiors with problems.